So Many Hats

Over the weekend, I was watching my younger brother who has special needs. I usually do at some point every day, but the other day was for about three hours straight. During this time, I was thinking of all the different hats that my family wears to care for my brother.

I’m sure every family, no matter if you have individuals with special needs or not, has a lot of roles to play. That’s just what you have to do. But I was really deep in thought about them.

We’re babysitters. Might seem a bit demeaning, but I don’t mean it that way in the slightest. It’s just the honest truth. He can’t be left completely alone for too long and needs help with a lot of daily tasks that we usually don’t give a second thought about.

We’re teachers. He needs some help learning how to do those daily tasks like packing his lunch, using the bathroom, following a daily routine, and more. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, though. I love seeing him thrive and learn how to be independent along the way.

We’re therapists. For my brother, and for each other. When we get so beyond stressed out for personal reasons or related to my brother, sometimes we’re there for each other. We have to deal with each other’s moods and problems all while still caring for my brother.

We’re pharmacists. I know that sounds absolutely crazy. But he’s been on many different medications to control his anxiety, meltdowns, and some other medical issues. We’re always on the look out for how his behavior changes. And we need to be ready to call his doctors or go to appointments if it affects him that much. Which brings me to my next one…

We’re detectives. Whenever he has a meltdown, sometimes the reason is unclear. And he’s non-verbal so he can’t directly tell us either. We have to rack our brains to think of why he is angry or upset. Is it because of a new medicine like I mentioned in the last paragraph? Is the computer not working fast enough for him? Does something hurt? Is he sad over something? The questions are endless. Sometimes we arrive at an answer, sometimes we don’t.

We’re family. Regardless if we’re all getting along at the moment, we’re in it together to take care of my brother. I’m not ashamed to say that being in this family feels unfair, frustrating, exhausting at times. But it is also rewarding. It has taught me to love unconditionally like I never thought I could. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.